Broken System, Broken Logic

Obligatory mention of the Johan Ghomeshi trial results as a segue into this next rant.

What the hell is wrong with society?

Let's just start with the fact that the false report rate for sexual harassment and assault is about the same as the false report rate for most other types of crime (ie. ~2%). When you consider the tiny percentage of actually reported sexual assaults (~11%), the number of people claiming falsely that they are a victim of sexual assault is actually much smaller than other crimes. However, because this type of crime is mostly reported by women, obviously it deserves more scrutiny. SHOCKING. We've found another way to diminish the credibility of women and exert social control over the least important half of the population through the court system.

Does anyone actually ever think about how illogical that is?? Yes, it seems SO WORTH IT to make up a fake sexual assault claim just to go through a long/humiliating/degrading court process where your every decision and clothing item is dissected and laid out in plain sight for the public, you'll probably be the target even more violent/sexual harassment via MRAs on the internet as a result, a male judge will condescendingly blame you for being the victim of a crime, and the case won't even go your way. SOUNDS LIKE SO MUCH FUN.

Let me tell you about my experience with the justice system. After being stalked and harassed for several months by someone who made it his personal mission to destroy my life through vicious comments, creepy notes, manipulative pleas to my friends/family, and physical assaults, I finally decided to get some official help.

This involved me taking time off work, only to listen to the judge nitpick at my frantic handwriting in front of the entire court, deal with the unhelpful counter clerks who gave zero shits about whether or not my restraining order got filed properly, spend the buttload of money it cost to get a process server (because police officers can't deal with anything that is "only a civil matter"), get a response affidavit served on me while at work, and then go to court and stand 3 feet away from the person I was trying to get as far away from as possible while the old, white, male judge FUCKING STARTED GIVING HIM LEGAL ADVICE because I guess a man's right to harass me trumps my safety???

(Oh, and shout out to the old white dude who spent 20 minutes obliviously ranting to me about "suing an entire town because yadda yadda something business related" while I was literally having an anxiety attack because I was there trying to deal with my own silly girl problem of being stalked... REALLY glad we had that chat...)

Only after the other party stuck his foot in his mouth and revealed himself to be OBVIOUSLY less credible than me, did I get the 6 month restraining order. And then I got to go through the fun process of re-filing everything with those previously-mentioned clerks and, lucky me, RE-SERVING HIM WITH THE OFFICIAL ORDER BECAUSE HE LEFT BEFORE WE COULD DO IT AT THE COURT. So, instead of having someone mail it to him (logical right?), I had to find someone to serve him with it AGAIN for it to be enforceable by police. And even that didn't really give me much peace of mind. If he had broken the terms of the protective order, it would still have been on me to call the police and hope like hell that I had the document on me so that they could actually make an arrest.

And let me tell you, I think it's absolutely cruel to force a person to make the decision to either pay for a process server (again) or ask someone they know to serve a document to a person known for impulsivity and aggression.

I would have much rather dealt with my harasser outside of the justice system. But you can bet that I would be facing way harsher legal consequences if I had so much as laid a finger on him than he received after all of the legal hoops I jumped through to do it the "right way". This won't even show up on his record. He's involved as an authority figure in communities that have no idea what his past is like and how deeply he's manipulating them to get what he wants.

The system is broken. When we work harder to protect the rights of perpetrators than we do to ensure the safety of victims, something is wrong. I didn't even have to deal with the victim-blaming questions related to what I was wearing, if I was drinking, how I might have led him on, etc. and I will never willingly bring another grievance to court. So, expect those ridiculously small percentages of reported sexual assaults to get even smaller because unless we fix this clusterfuck of a system, you're not going to find people wanting to willingly endure that torture for absolutely no benefit. And that IS (unfortunately) logical.