Love and Let Love

Happy Pride Month, everyone! And happy one year coming-outiversary to meee. 

Since coming out as "not straight" this time last year, I've had a lot of people ask me about my label. You may or may not remember that I semi-officially announced myself as bisexual. Lately, I've been gravitating towards the label of pansexual ("hearts, not parts!", as some would say) to more clearly validate the existence of all non-binary gender identities. However, I use these two terms interchangeably because they are *basically* the same thing. (This is a bit of a controversial issue in the LGBTQ2S+ community, so do your reading to determine your own opinion on this matter). Personally, I'll use the term "bi" when I want people to know what the heck I'm talking about because it does seem to be slightly more visible (haha) than pansexuality, in general. Not everyone knows what the term pansexual means, so I find myself explaining far too often that I am not literally sexually attracted to pans. However, I may be PUNsexual, AKA, attracted to puns. ...Sorry, couldn't help myself. (I should be PUNished for that one). Jeez, sorry. I truly am stopping now...

Honestly, though, what other explanation is there for the overwhelming number of pun-obsessed weirdos with whom I hang out? Ooh, look at that segue! Speaking of "weird", you may also hear me use the term "queer" to describe myself from time to time. Not only does this term adequately describe my sexuality, but it also wonderfully encapsulates my dorky personality. It does, however, leave the label a little more open ended. Remember, folks, queer does not necessarily equate to gay. (Although, it can).

I know labels and fluid sexuality can be confusing so I've decided to clear up a few of the questions I've been receiving from some members of the general public below:

How do you commit to one person if you have the capability to be attracted to all people? 

Let me ask you this: how do you commit to one person if you can be attracted to all people of one gender? Polyamory is a totally separate thing from sexual orientation (and a whole other thing to dive into on another day). Non-heterosexual people are not the only ones with commitment issues, if ya know what I mean! ;) 

How did you become/know you were pansexual?

It was actually a direct result of all those years of softball I played in my youth. Also, I kissed a girl and I liked it. Throwing this back your way, how are you positive about your own sexual identity? Could you, too, be sexually fluid? Seems to me like it's statistically unlikely for SO MANY people to cluster around the extremes of either end of a spectrum... But, alas, I am no statistician. 

As a woman, what advice do you have for transitioning from dating men to dating women?

Cut your hair, wear more plaid, and change your tinder settings. But for reals, you should probably start asking women out if you want to date women. You should also probably seek advice from someone who is not me because I have absolutely no chill and my dating track record is not something to which you should aspire.

Are you sure you're not just doing this for attention? 

Have you even met me? All I do with excess attention is turn a neutral situation into an awkward one. No, thank you. 


With all that said, here's to a proud month of celebrating love in whichever form we each choose to express it. I'm blessed to have so many fabulous and accepting people in my life who perfectly embody the sentiment, "live and let live". Keep on being awesome and never stop spreading the love!

Until next year's Pride post, love (of all kinds) and swing-outs!