The parents are busily sleeping away on a Mexican beach between trips to the soft serve ice cream machine, which means that I am taking a staycation at their house to keep an eye on the furrier family members. I figured I might as well write about the daily shenanigans, since there are bound to be a few of those. We're off to an adorably sleepless start, as Georgie the dog can't tell time and thought she was doing me a favour by coming in every hour starting at 3 AM to boop me on my nose and make sure that I was going to wake up in time to take her to doggy daycare. She's not a great singer, but she did her best to howl along to the Ella and Louis duets I was playing during the car ride. Luckily, we've got an entire week to work on her harmonies. Seeing as she refuses to take anything other than a standing position across the back seat of my car, I've also got a whole week to figure out how to brake like a decent human being. Apparently, I've developed a bit of a "startled rabbit" braking strategy over the course of my driving career which I discovered this morning as Georgie's lanky body suddenly careened towards my headrest at a stoplight. Whoops. The last thing I want to do is give the dog AND myself a concussion at the same time for the week that I'm responsible for three furry toddlers.
In case you were concerned that my life this week was going to revolve solely around awko taco animal moments, fear not! For I have not ceased to be any less uncomfortable in my day-to-day human interactions. In fact, the person working the front desk at the doggy daycare I brought Georgie to today actually used to be an old schoolmate. However, it just so happens that she is a twin and I couldn't figure out which individual of the set she is. She remembers my name. I have a 50/50 shot at guessing hers, so that's at least better than my usual odds...? There was a whole lot of, "hey...YOU" type of verbal dodging happening on my end. Then, instead of catching up like a competent person who has had ~2 decades of experience socializing with other people, I proceeded to make her feel awkward about misgendering my parents' dog and then neglected to tell her that said dog had just excitedly peed all over the floor when she saw me there to pick her up. But it's all good... I'll most likely see her again tomorrow to... continue to fail at human interaction in her presence. Awesome.
I was hoping to wrap this up and head to bed, but it seems that Teddy the cat has discovered a ghost because he is frantically running around the house and leaping up walls. I most definitely did not bring my baseball bat with me, so I'm a little nervous about whatever demon he's chasing around the living room. Meanwhile, Minnie the other cat, came by to cuddle for approximately 5 minutes before leaving in an agitated state because I kept static shocking her nose. There's a 93% chance that she's taking a dump in my suitcase at this very moment.
Alas, I need to make an attempt to sleep now, even if it is a futile one. Last night, Georgie and Teddy tag teamed to ensure that one of them was always keeping me from a peaceful slumber at all times. I'm pretty sure Teddy was only in on it because he mistook me for my sister and was excited for cuddles. Hopefully, they'll both allow me slightly more sleep tonight.
Until tomorrow, friends! Don't snort catnip.
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